Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Happy Birthday to Charley and Rizzo!

They turn 3 today!
Lots of pics to come! Eek!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I Can't Believe it Has Been 2 Weeks

The doctors all said that at the two week mark I would feel like a new person. And I do. I mean, I still have a gastric belly but everyday it gets a little smaller. I definitely see progress in that area.

My swollen legs from all the fluids they gave me during surgery are back to normal.

My incision still hurts but we have been taking short walks everyday and that seems to be helping.

I am down 17 pounds from my pregnancy weight, so I only have 13 pound to go.

Kiki is eating like a champ so hopefully we hear good news at the doc on Thursday.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Hey, Guess What!

Just because you are holding the baby doesn't mean that you don't have to help clean up the kitchen after dinner. You didn't cook and if you follow your own damn rules, you should have cleaned the kitchen.

You aren't helping by holding the baby, we can take care of things ourselves. Please don't think that by holding the baby you are doing us any great service. You're not. In fact, when you force the paci on her, you're just annoying me.


1 Week for the Kikimonster!

Some how we managed to keep her alive all this time!
Ok, Ok, totally kidding. I knew we could do it!

We celebrated her one week birthday by having lunch and feeding the ducks down by the river.

She took her first ride in the Rhino...although, before you get all preachy on me, she didn't actually ride in it. She was sitting in it, practicing. Getting ready for her first ride. (You can lecture me later on the dangers of the Rhino and four wheeling with your baby!)

Then she was super sleepy baby and needed a little nap!

Last night I designed & ordered her birth announcement. Now I have to get ready to send them out. I love how they came out and the color scheme kind of matches her room. SO CUTE!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

She's Here!!

Ms. Kiki had her own plans and arrived 10 days before her scheduled c-section (and much to my saddness on my grandmother and my dad's birthday, ugh).

My water broke at 5ish in the morning on Sunday the 14th. At first I wasn't sure if it was my water, I thought I had leaked a little and just had to pee really bad. But when I sat on the toilet and bunch of liquid came out and it wasn't pee. So I laid back down in bed and told Timm that I thought my water had broken. He said something that made me laugh and more liquid came a gushin'. There was no question after that.

So we straighted up the bedroom, changed the sheets, took showers, and got ready then headed to the hospital. The whole time I felt no contractions. When we got there we were admitted in the Labor and Delivery.

This is our first pic in L&D - looking excited but really I was mortified.
Once we were admitted our nurse came in to check that my water had actually broken. Which she confirmed was the case but the OB came in and wanted to give me a speculum check to just double check that it was really my water. But by this point I had gone through about 6 of those little puppy pee pads and was swimming in my own amniotic fluid. Disgusting.
The OB came in and attempted a speculum check. They inserted the tip of the speculum and I flooded the place. She kind of giggled and said, "oh yes, that's your water, dear." Well, duh. But at least I had an efficient OB. I mean, she will be performing surgery on me and all. So I was OK with that.
So the nurse came in and said that we would be going into surgery in about an hour and half.
She gave me these awesome bracelets.
I have an allergy to vicodin.
She popped in this awesome IV.

And the waiting began. So I was texting and chatting with Timm.
The nurse came in a couple times to check Kiki's heartrate and my contractions. She asked if I was feeling them. I still hadn't felt anything. She was looking at the contraction monitor and said that I should definitely be feeling them. Am I sure? Um, yes, pretty much, I am sure. I feel nothing. Not even a slight cramp.
At 11:45 I was instructed to go to the OR and Timm was told to put on his fresh hospital gown. He looked hot. I was given the numbing meds, damn that hurt. That was the most painful part. Then given the spinal. Once the numbing meds were in I felt nothing and immediately my legs and butt were numb. Such a weird sensation.
Timm was brought back in and the operation began. By 12:12 our little Kikimonster was alive and breathing air and crying like a champ. With her 9 and 9 APGAR scores all is well in our world.
Her first picture!
Then we hear, "so do you see it over there?...Are you sure?....Hmm, that's weird."
Then the doc and I have this convo:
Doc: Ashley, have you ever had surgery before?
Me: Just the wisdom teeth and that doesn't count.
Doc: Well you seem to be missing a right fallopian tube and right ovary.
Me: Hmmm, that's interesting.
Then I got to see my baby and Timm again and all was right in the world.
Our first family portrait.
I was wheeled to the recovery room. Within about an hour I was cleaned and breastfeeding with the help of many nurses, since I still couldn't move. I was beginning to be able to move my toes but any major leg movements were out of the question.
I still can't believe that only a week ago I had a c-section. Recovery hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I am still sore most days but it is bareable even without the meds. We have been out and about to the doctors and grocery shopping. Kiki loves her stroller and her car seat. She gets in them and before we get to the car, she is out like a light. I have only 5 more weeks until I can start working out. So when I get the OK to do that, it will be a good day. This belly is pretty nasty. It is shrinking but it is gross and I can't wait to get rid of it.
She wasn't sure what to think of all the bright lights in the OR, I am sure.
Here we are in post partum. I am a little pale in this picture and about 5 seconds later 10 people walked into the room to see her bright, shinning face.

This was after her first bath.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Pros About Having a Scheduled C-Section

In an effort to make myself feel better, I am going to remind myself of all the pros that can come out of having a scheduled c-section. I am still so sad.

1. No labor pains.

2. No risk of tearing from my vagina to my ass.

3. No pooping on the table.

4. I know that I will end up having the baby no later than March 24th. That means no going past my due date.

5. My dad will see the baby the day she is born instead of 1-2 days later. (As if I really care about that.)

And that's all I have. Still not feeling better about having to have a c-section.

There is nothing I can do.

I am pissed.

I hate not being in control. I hate that I can't even try a natural delivery. I hate that this will probably be our only kid and I won't VBAC.

On a lighter note - here is my full term picture.
37 weeks of fatty, pregnant, goodness.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

C-section Pre-Op Appt

I am so upset that I have to get a c-section. It seems like the more I think about it, the more that I research, the more upset I get. I am frustrated that this is my only option.

The lady who makes the pre-op appointments called me today and told me the only appt they had available was on 3/22 at 2:15. Well there is no way that Timm can make it to that appointment. He will never get off work and to Santa Rosa from Richmond by 2:15. I asked the appt lady if there was anything later or if we could be put on some kind of cancellation list to be called in the event that something become available later in the afternoon. I told her that it was important to me that Timm is there. This fucking surgery affects both of us.

Her response? "oh you want your husband there? That's weird. Let me see what I can find."

WTF. Who says shit like that? I hate her.

I just watched a video of a c-section and I am so not impressed. I am bummed out. The whole thing upsets me so much.

Even when I try to look at the positives, it doesn't cheer me up.

Full Term Bitches!

Now come on baby! We're ready for you!
37 weeks = a fully formed happy baby just kicking, sucking, and putting on weight in there.
Don't make it so convenient for everyone and come out sooner!
Tomorrow works for me!
But at least I know this pregnancy thing will be over in two weeks. I have decided to take the next two weeks and just be lazy. I am going to sleep all I can, watch movies, read, and bake. Sounds like a rough life, I know. It will be tough. But somebody has to do it.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

OMG. The Fam

My uncle isn't exactly known for his tact. And he isn't the brightest crayon in the box. We love him anyway. But today he was hilarious.

This lady is walking down the street and we're hanging out on the lawn chatting, my uncle and I. The dogs are going crazy, heaven forbid someone walk down their street, ya know? So the lady turns out to be my neighborish. She lives over the highway. We used to be close when I was a kid. But then she let my stepdad bring his girlfriends to her house to have sex knowing that he wasn't divorced or even separated from my mom. So I hate her now. And the stepdad too but that goes without saying.

My dogs have a "don't leave the grass" rule. They follow it. She walks toward my house. Sees me and the dogs, then recognizes me and walks onto the lawn. I didn't say anything to her.

The dogs go running up to greet her. They don't jump on her but they smell her and get some dog nose gunk on her jeans. Gross but not the end of the world. It won't stain. She starts yelling, "GET THEM OFF OF ME. I AM NOT A DOG PERSON!"

Um, you walked on my grass and you could see and hear the dogs. Why the hell would one "isn't a dog person" do that? Anyway, I call the dogs off and she starts to try to catch up with me, I just asked her to leave. She gets all huffy but heads home.

Then my uncle and I have this convo:
Uncle: "Who was that?"
me: "The lady that used to let [stepdad] sleep with his girlfriends at her house while he was cheating on mom."
Uncle: "Oh, that's her?! She got fat!"


He also told me that he will not be coming to the hospital. "Too many people, I will just come see the baby when you're home."

He is officially my favorite uncle.

15 days.

15 Days until we are officially parents.
15 days until sleepless nights.
15 days until Timm changes his first newborn diaper.
15 days until there is a little baby sleeping in her crib.
15 days until we get to meet our little bundle of adorableness.

15 days until my sushi hoard. I am excited and nervous.

I have so many mixed emotions about having to have a scheduled c-section. In one sense it just feels wrong. We already know her birthday and she isn't even here yet. Birth isn't supposed to be planned. It is supposed to just happen. It almost seems like we are fucking with fate. It just isn't right.

On the other hand, it is convenient. Timm can prep his work and we can have the paperwork ready for him to take his time off. He won't be four hours away in the event I were to go into labor while he was at work. I was very stressed out about that. He works so far away and I really don't want to have to depend on anyone else to get me to the hospital.

Although, I am secretly hoping that I go into labor before the scheduled c-section. It won't be so convenient for everyone else, ha! And then it won't be so planned. I won't feel so bad about having to have a c-section if it isn't planned. Although, I have just felt what I think is my first braxton hicks contractions ever. So I would say that labor isn't going to progress on its own and she is still so high that I will never get to a normal station. So I am guessing these braxton hicks contractions didn't get the memo about the scheduled c-section.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Things I am Sick of Hearing About the C Section

Everyone wants to put in there two cents. Everyone has an opinion. It is all about them. Not one person has asked if K handled the version well. They go straight into one of these comments:

"I can't believe you didn't pick your dad's birthday for K's birthday."

"I can't believe you didn't pick your grandma's birthday."

"Can you change the day to the 21st? That was your great grandma's birthday. When one leaves, another takes her place."

"I am so glad that I know when you're going to have the baby, this makes everything so much more convenient for me."

"So what happens if I get there early? Can I come see you?"

"If the baby is going to be born at 9am, then why can't we get there at 10?"

Seriously, people?

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Version

We went to our version appointment yesterday. We made sure though that everything was packed and in the car since there was a slim chance that something could have went wrong and we could have ended up with an emergency C yesterday. Although, I do wonder how slim since they wouldn't let me get the version on Thursday when I had eaten a cookie 2 hours before they would have done it. That was the only thing that made me a little nervous.

We get to the hospital and we have to be admitted as if we are delivering the baby today. The good that came out of this? We know they recieved our copay and our admitting paperwork and we shouldn't have to do all of that again on the day of the C. They give me a hospital bracelet and send us up to L&D.

We meet with the nurse and she tells me to pee in a cup and to take all my clothes off. She comes back in and asks me a bunch of triage questions - weight, height, # of kids/pregnancies, smoke, drink, drugs, etc. after hooking me up to monitors to check K's heart rate and if we are having any contractions. She is steady between 135-150. And no contractions. Then she asks me if I want to see the doc before they get the IV block in, take blood (also in case of an emergency C), and give me the shot to relax my muscles. I say yes and the doc is in there about 2 minutes later.

The OB tells me the risks. He is calm, cool, and collected. I love him and wish he could have been my OB for this entire experience. Basically the risks are exactly what I thought they would be...possible placenta or uterine rupture, wrapping of the umbilical cord, an increase or decrease in heart rate. I ask him what he recommends, I really want to have a vaginal birth but I want the best conditions for success. There is no reason in stressing her out if all the conditions aren't there. He says to do a vag exam and see how low she is in the pelvis. If she is low, then it is a no-go since it would be too hard to get her butt up and out of the pelvis and THEN turn her.

So the vag exam happens. Not painful. Uncomfortable. And I am glad that I don't have to have like a million of those before Miss K comes. But it wouldn't have been that bad had I had to do it. The doc decides that she isn't too low and he is optimistic about the chances of her turning based on her position and that she isn't super low. So I OK the procedure.

Off we go. First another nurse comes in and gives me an IV. I apparently don't have good wrist veins when I haven't eaten or had a beverage for a couple hours, so they put it in the under side of my elbow. Kind of a bummer and I hope that they can get it in a wrist vein on the day of the C since I have to have it in for 24 hours. But the nurse gets the vein on the first try and all is well. They take two tubes of blood and then lock off the IV. The whole procedure takes about 10 minutes. She tried for a long time to get a good wrist vein.

Then the other nurse gives me a shot to relax my uterus so we don't have any contractions. If my uterus contracts then there is no way the baby will move, even with all their poking and prodding. So then we sit and wait. We wait for the shot to kick in and the doc to be ready.

Everyone comes back into the room - the OB, the nurse, the midwife, and another nurse keeps coming back to check in to make sure they don't need another set of hands. SO this is where the pain comes in. The midwife has me hooked up to an ultra sound machine and the OB is trying to turn her. That doesn't work. So the midwife works on the head while the OB works on the butt and we have some slight progress! The butt comes out of the pelvis, the head won't move, but the OB is optimistic.

Since the OB is stronger they switch. The OB tries to move the head and the midwife tries to move the butt. More progress! Both the head and the butt move a little bit. But I am starting to get really lightheaded and hot. I am sweating. I mention it, they say don't worry about it. It is normal. So I let them continue. Miss K moves a bit more. And I feel worse. So I ask for a break. I thought I was going to pass out.

Throughout this entire process Miss K's heart rate didn't go above 160. She handled the stress really well. The doc said that she is healthy and strong. Most babies have to be watched more closely and monitored after the procedure for longer. So I am grateful she didn't get too stressed out.

I start to feel better and the OB and the midwife go back to trying to move her. She has already gone back to her original position. UGH. So they try one more time without success. The OB is very apologetic saying that he wouldn't have recommended a procedure that he didn't think he could do. He was very optimistic, she's just stubborn. "We gave it the old college try!" He says.

So he leaves and the nurse stays in to monitor the baby and talk to us about have a C. I feel much better about having to have one after talking with her. I am still bummed but it is what it is. The nurse talked with us for about 20 minutes about everything from the procedure, the recovery, the hospital stay, etc. She was awesome. I am really grateful that she cared so much. I was obviously concerned about having to have a C.

So March 24th is the Kikmonster's birthday, unless my water breaks early. Which is doubtful, I think. At our 38 week appointment they will make sure she is still breech. If she magically turns, doesn't sound likely, then we will cancel our C section and go for the vaginal birth. I will try some home remedies for getting her to turn but I am not optimistic about them.

And oh my goodness, I am so, so, so sore today. My belly is bruised and tender to the touch. But I am glad I went through with the version. Now I know that it didn't work, I know K is strong and healthy and handles stress well. She gets that from her daddy...god knows she doesn't get that from me!

Friday, March 5, 2010


My cousin is a L&D nurse. So yesterday, after I found out the Kikmonster was breech, I called her to find out everything she knows about C-sections and Versions.

She told my grandma. My fault, I should have said, we're not saying anything until after Saturday's version.

Grandma calls me. And doesn't make me feel any better and in fact just frustrates me more in saying, "well this is really great news for your dad. He will be able to be here now."


So then I brace for it, and start calling the fam. This grandma that knows has a huge mouth. So I call my dad. Knowing this is the first call she will make. His reaction, "I am sorry that isn't what you wanted but it is great for me."


So then I call my other grandma. "Oh you can pick your date! Pick my birthday."
I just respond with, "they picked it for me."
Then she goes on to say, "oh this is such great news, she will be here for Easter, so I can buy her a dress and Tiff will be here. And everyone can be at the hospital waiting since we know when she will come."

Could it get any worse?

I am so upset about this whole being breech thing. I really wanted to have a vaginal delivery. This is probably going to be our only child. I will never experience real labor.

But, as ridiculous as it sounds, I don't want my grandma to buy her an Easter dress. I want to buy her one. She needs to back up a little bit. She is going to buy her something ridiculous, with white gloves and with bunnies or flowers on it. I just want something simple and cute, that I pick out. NOt her.

Ugh, I have to go to Target now. I have to try to fill in the holes of our registry since we could possibly have a baby tomorrow. I know the chances are slim but if I don't prep for it, then she will definitely come tomorrow. That would be just my luck.

36 Week Appt

Yesterday we had our 36 week appt. Got the GBS test. It wasn't that bad. They swabbed my vag and my butt and it was all done. It took less than 30 seconds. That was good.
Then we had an ultrasound to check the Kikmonster's position. She's breech. Then my OB kind of annoyed me, "oh my goodness, I can't even believe it. That is just a bummer. I can't believe she isn't head down. Oh my goodness, unbelievable." Well, really I know it is rare for babies to be breech this far along, but it isn't that rare. Her reaction annoyed me.

So obviously I am upset about it and my first question was, "what can I do to try to make her flip?" My options are my own positioning and a version.

My knowledge of a version is limited but from what I understand they hook you up to heartrate monitor for the baby and an ultrasound machine. Then they manually try to turn her, from the outside, while watching her heartrate and position. If her heartrate gets too high or too low they will stop and leave her breech.

The next process would be to try my own positioning. Laying with my hips above my head, downward dog while Timm rubs the baby to convince her to move head down, and head pad/ice pack combo. So we'll see. We have one more chance to see if she turned at our 38 week appt. If she still hasn't turned our little Kikmonster will be born at about 9:45am on March 24.
I am bummed and just trying to see the positives right now.
There is a possibility that the version could put her in too much stress and they can't calm her down, it could rupture membranes, break the water, or the placenta can rupture. All these possiblilties could lead to an emergency C section tomorrow morning at our version appt.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy

So, I saw this today and since only a couple things have happened to me. I thought I would share my version of the "Top 10 Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy."

Keep in mind that I am no means a pro on pregnancy and I am sure something to completely surprise me will happen in the next 4 weeks. And every pregnancy is different.

But for now, here we go.

1. The farting is insane. Not just the smell but the mere fact that you can't even try to hold it in anymore since it just comes out on it's own. With no warning. Pffffft!

2. Your lady bits swell. I look like a new woman down there, and it ain't for the better.

3. Sex might hurt. Ok, so swelling lady bits = painful sex. My poor husband has gone without for a while - but it hasn't been that long. I often grin and bear the pain since I listened to this podcast.

4. Your sex drive will take a nose dive. If you're lucky, you will get a higher sex drive. I am not one of those people.

5. The sweating is kind of insane. Really? I must sweat more. I am a sweater in general, but this is pretty nasty. The sweating gets really bad somewhere in the second trimester and then it gets better again. Not normal but less sweating is taking place now.

6. I could go swimming in my own discharge. Even with panty liners there are days that I change my underwear hoping to at least try to feel fresh again.

7. New smells. You will smell new smells - you probably already know that. But YOU will also smell different. That was a shocker to the system for me.

8. If you keep grooming down below often throughout the pregnancy, you won't really notice that it will progressivley get harder. And you will be better equipped when you can't see, you will be able to do it without looking!

9. The complete exhaustion that sets in is overwhelming. You will worry about things that you never thought you would worry about...for me, "will my boobs get saggy after pregnancy? If I breastfeed will they get worse? What if I don't breastfeed, how will my boobs look then?" And these thoughts will keep you up from your naps. No matter how tired you actually are.

10. People think they have the right to say stupid shit to you. All the time. Complete strangers think it is OK to ask how much you weigh or how much weight you have gained. People will tell you you're waddling or you've dropped and then 20 seconds later someone else will come by and say, "that baby is still so high! You aren't waddling at all." It is super annoying.

Oh and a bonus one:
11. Nobody tells you that you have to wait three weeks postpartum, if you're breastfeeding, to have some fucking wine. Apparently the milk the boobs produce in the beginning is more "absorbant" to what is in your system. So now that I have waited 36 weeks, I have 7 more to go.

This fact alone doesn't make me happy.

The Beast!

Check out the beast!

Week 36 in pictures!
And make a guess for when the Kikmonster will make her arrival and if you're the closest you will win a prize!
Due Date: 03.31.10

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

36 weeks!

28 days to go!
I hope this little one comes early.
We have our 36 week OB appointment on Thursday. We will get an ultrasound to make sure she's head down (and secretly I am scared that she isn't. I have a bad feeling about it) and check her weight and measurements. Although, I don't know why they do that since they are plus or minus 1-2 pounds. It doesn't make sense. I also get to get swabbed for the GBS test...oh joy. Here comes the parts of pregnancy that I was definitely not looking forward too. The parts where you have to lay out your ladybits for all the world to see.
OK so maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration.
Not everyone.
Just everyone in the labor and delivery department.
Oh well. Come out baby! We're so ready to meet you.
The room is already ready too. I can't believe the progress I made in two days.
Here it was in chaos mode on Sunday night:

Here is was after 1 FULL day of working on it, on Monday morning:

Definitely more manageable piles and the floor can be seen again! Progress!

Now here are some finished pictures!
After two full days of working on it, all that is left is some final organization and washing the cloth diapers. These pictures were taken Tuesday night!
Changing table area.
This is above the crib. Finally got in some stuffed animals.
Inside her little closet! Still kind of a mess but very cute!
Basket o' blankets next to the crib.

Love this rocking horse from my Aunt and Cousin!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Baby Shower

The baby shower was so great! It was really fun to hang out and eat and play games. I felt like a beast all day and have progressively gotten more uncomfortable since Sunday so I am glad we didn't plan it for this weekend.

The Kikimonster better be a March baby, I don't know how I am going to do if I go over my due date.

This was on the street side entrance to the front door.

This was on the giant wall above the main entrance of the house.

Diaper cake!!!

The was the stork by the front door.

This was the aftermath of all the gifts in the Kikmonster's room. It was a disaster area.

I am thinking that maybe I should take some pictures today to see that I have made some progress. I worked on her room all day yesterday and that is my plan for today. Although, today I will take a break to write some thank you cards. I overdid it yesterday and fell asleep around 8. I always feel bad for Timm when I do that.

I have a bunch more pictures on shutterfly and oh my goodness my face looks fat. I had no idea I was looking fat. Nobody told me. I am kind of mortified. But it will all come off, it has to.

On another note - I am so proud of myself. I am still walking uphill for 30 minutes, most days of the week. I usually shoot for at least three but usually I get in 4-5 walks. Now that the weather is getting nicer I am going to make more of an effort to take my dog out. But the treadmill is so much more convenient since I can control the incline and speed and therefore my heartrate. I think I get a better work out on the treadmill than I do outside.

AND my mom bought me the Bob SUV stroller. I am so super stoked! It comes in next Saturday! I can't wait to go get it!

I will get skinny! I will get skinny! I will get skinny!