Friday, February 26, 2010


I haven't had any weird pregnancy dreams, and to be honest I feel a little cheated about that. Anyway, so last night I had a dream about what I looked like postpartum and what my baby looked like.

Let's start with the Kikmonster...She was totally adorable with a full head of red hair. She was completely normal sized. We took her to a outdoor mall with some kind of football game going on through the quad. Everyone stopped to oogle at her. She even came out with pierced ears! HA! It was super cute. I am a huge fans of pierced ears on babies. She was seriously the cutest thing ever.

Moving on to my post partum was better than when I got knocked up! I was super stoked. All my stretch marks faded at the hospital. My stomach was super flat and it just seemed like it deflated and firmed right back up when there was no Kikmonster in there.

This won't be me. I am sure I will be a disaster. Pregnancy didn't do anything good for my body and I can say that we need to decide asap if we are having more kids so I can get this mommy make over process started asap.

My poison oak is totally itching and I don't think it is going to run a normal course by any means. We're on day 10 of pussing and nastiness. Usually by day ten we're dry and starting to go away. So hopefully, it will be mostly dry by Sunday. If it looks gross that's one thing, but if it is still pussy at the shower, that's nasty.
Anyway, to leave you with a picture of my poison oak on the back of my right leg under my knee.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

35/35 in Pictures

35 weeks along.

35 days to go.

Until the due date anyway.

35 Weeks Bitches!

So here we are...35 weeks along and a mere 35 days to go.
Can you believe it?
I sure can't.
But I am uber excited.

Wine is only 35 days (give or take 10!) away. I can't wait for my carpet picnic of sushi - the real shit. None of this cooked roll stuff. I want tai nigiri, hamachi nigiri, and a rainbow roll. I love the rainbow rolls with the raw fish and avocado on top. Delish. And I want it with red wine. Lots of it. Like a whole bottle of red wine. Ok, maybe I will have to work up to my drinking a bottle of wine abilities. But more than a tiny glass would suffice at this point.

We are totally ready for the Kikmonster to this point. But with the shower coming up on Sunday, I think come Monday I will sing a different tune. The tune of "OMG, I have so much shit to do and not enough time to do it. Kikmonster, you'd better stay in there for at least another week." But the reality is she needs to stay until at least 37 weeks. Let's make it a full term baby, ya know? I mean, I have gone 35 weeks without wine, what's another 2?

Now I have to go make sure the hospital bag has everything I need. Timm doesn't want to have to drive home to go get anything, since we live 35 minutes away from the hospital.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Baby Pictures!

I am glad we live in an age of technology and social networking. It makes me want to document everything. Our kid is going to have an enormous amount of pictures. I LOVE pictures. I love looking at old pictures of myself and Timm. I find myself wondering who she will look more like. Hopefully me, since I am the red head!

Anyway, I am kind of sad that the dates on the back of my pictures aren't as accurate as I hoped. Timm only has a couple pictures of himself as a kid are from his grandparents. So in a lot of his pictures he is wearing the same clothes. It is so sad. But there is lots of things from Timm's childhood that make me sad.

Yesterday we were going through all my books from when I was a kid and I asked him if he had a Teddy Ruxpin and he said, "Ashley, I was deprived as a child, don't ask me about toys." That is so sad. For what it's worth, our kid is totally going to have a Teddy Ruxpin.

Here are some pictures of us as kids. I am making a slideshow for the shower of us as babies for entertainment purposes and some of these pictures are too cute to pass up.

Timm on Halloween when he was 4.

Timm crawling at 7 months.

Timm at 1 day old. Awww!

Me at one year...check out those stunna shades.

Again, about a year old and very dirty.

Me and Brooklyn at the beach. She looks so much like Rizzo.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

6 more weeks!

Until Delivery! Woohoo!

So the last Child Birth Prep class wasn't a total waste of time. I am glad we went. We tried out some laboring positions. She told us which positions are good for certain types of pain, which should help me while I am laboring. But the rest of the class = boring. I am so glad it is over. I am kind of bummed we wasted $55. But hey, at least it wasn't too much more!

Last night we went to Newborn Care...or at least we tried. When I signed up for the class the guy told me it was Tuesday, February 17th. Well February 17th is a Wednesday. And I heard Tuesday and assumed last night was the night. There was a class in session when we walked in. The teacher looks at us and asks, "Do you know what class you're here for?" Oh it was hilarious! We went for ice cream instead, so it wasn't total bust. But we will be headed there tonight. Ugh.

I bought a dress for the wedding I am going to be in 4 months postpartum! YAY! So now I don't have to stress over which dress to buy anymore. It has a corset back! Double bonus!

My shower is coming up in about 10 days, I am super excited about it! Everyone except for 3 people are coming. I totally didn't expect that to happen. There is usually a larger amount of people that can't come to events like this, ya know! Anyway, I can't wait. I went to Target yesterday and I found a shirt on the sale rack for a mere $8.48 that will look super cute with my denim skirt and boots to wear to the party. I was thinking I wouldn't be able to find a shirt. So that was a bonus.

So 6 more weeks.
The shower is in two and then it will be all about setting up for baby. Luckily I will have 4 weeks to get it together.

Friday, February 12, 2010


My grandma just called. The first thing she said to me, "so you're growing a baby?"


Did you just get the memo? I am almost done growing a baby. That's just a weird statement.

Then it got worse.

You see, my uncle has this girlfriend who annoys the shit out of me. Seriously. We don't get along. She is totally a black widow and I seriously think she is out to kill my uncle. She is a widow already too. Her whole situation is weird.

Anyway, she is so fake that being around her makes you want to rip your own fingernails off. Slowly.

Yes, she is that bad.

The second thing my grandma says, "do you have any left over invites for the shower?"
Me: "Yes."
Her: "Because we need to invite [Uncle's girlfriend]. I feel weird about having a shower. She is part of the family and should be invited."

WTF. Part of the family? Are you kidding me?

I think that invite is getting lost in the mail. This lady and I have had it out a couple times. The shower is at my mom's house. It deffinitely will be weird if she goes. Her and my mom don't get along either. It is so bad that my uncle told my grandma that he doesn't want to bring her around me or my mom every again.

Why the hell would she come to the party?
And wouldn't inviting her be more condescending than nice?

Laboring Positions

I think I have finally found some!

You Tube is great. These videos explain why some positions are better than others. I feel like this will help me when I am in labor. If I am feeling a certain kind of pain, I might know a position that will help relieve that kind of pain.

I watched these short videos:

First Video from Baby Center on

Second Video

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

33 Weeks

I am so glad that I don't feel as big as I look.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Movie: Gentle Birth Choices

I have been doing a lot of research on going natural during labor. I want to learn techniques to keep me relaxed and to manage the pain. So far - fail. I haven't really found anything.

Use of the birthing ball

These are pain management techniques. I would consider them more "make mom comfortable as can be while in labor" techniques. Which I have come to the sad conclusion that may be the best I can get.

Relaxation techniques I have found are meditation and music. Um, I am not a meditator. I am really bad at it. I am constantly wondering if my mind is clear enough or empty enough or thoughtless enough. And since I am thinking about those things there is no way it can. So I am still searching.

I rented Gentle Birth Choices from Netflix for ideas. The description of the movie reads this. What specifically made me want to watch this movie was "The births encompass the best of natural birthing: water birth, a VBAC, squatting, siblings, fathers' emotions, homes and birth centers, difficult contractions, and effective coping techniques and vocalizations."

Well, to say it simply: this movie did not do that. It showed the births of the women who went natural and their reactions. Which is helpful and inspiring. But it didn't talk about why these things are good and helpful during birth. It never mentions how being vocal (or not) can be helpful to the mother.

It talks a lot of midwifery, which I have decided is a word that I am not fond of, it just doesn't sound like a real word. Anyway, it screams the greatness of midwives and even talks to a midwife who practices medicine without any kind of certificate or creditentials for midwifery, besides the training she received from an advanced midwife. This is something that baffles me, why not just go get your license?!

The movie is dated. Barbara Harper admits it in the very beginning. If you can get passed the hilarious hairdos and cokebottle glasses, I would say it isn't a waste of time to watch this movie. It did make me lean a little bit more toward a natural birth. It was informative. But I didn't get what I wanted out of it and my search will continue.

School, Degree, and Life Oh My!

I want to use my degree. Or certificate. Whatever.

Baking and Pastry.

What to do? I don't really want to work in a bake shop. I love bread, I haven't made any in a very long time. Maybe I should do that today?

I love food. Good food. Different food. Savory food. Sweet food. Decorated food. Plated food.

But what do I want to do with food?
Beats the hell outta me.

There has to be something.

I must begin brainstorming.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Preparing for Childbirth Class

OMG, could a class be anymore boring. I seriously can't believe how dull the teacher was! Oh my.

And we have to go back next week. Ugh.

She lectured on the stages of labor for about 45 minutes and then proceeded to show us a movie ABOUT the exact same thing that was a half hour long. The information doesn't need to be repeated. She should have played the movie on mute and lectured over it. She could have saved the paper she was using for lecture. Wow.

Timm's biggest complaint was that she was constantly trying to get the class involved instead of just lecturing. It would be one thing if she had already lectured on the terms and then she tried to involve the class but it was brand new material and she was asking us, "ok, what do you think that is?" Oh well.

I was also hoping to learn about having a natural childbirth and some relaxation techniques and breathing exercises. She said we have two choices for breathing. Really? Just two? And then showed the men how to give the women hand massages.

She said about a million times, "it is so hard to say what you are going to want during labor, you are just going to do what makes you the most comfortable."

Um, yes, this is true. But isn't this also a good reason to try to be prepared with a bunch of options for breathing and relaxing. I don't want to be in labor and then trying to figure out different ways to make me as comfortable as possible. I want the resources already so I can try out a bunch of different options. She had us do this meditation thing, that will not be me while in labor. I am not a meditator. I hate yoga. Concentrating on my breathing isn't going to happen.

I am frustrated that we paid for this class. Not that it was expensive, only $55 for both of us, but annoying that the money is wasted and now I feel like I have to go back next week.

The first lady I ever contacted about maternity pictures called yesterday. She wants to know if we are going to get pictures done. I really want to get them done but I don't love her work. I don't want to pay for something I don't love. I fear that I am not going to like what she does with the pics. Besides, I have stretch marks all over my belly. They are fugly. I am disgusting. I don't want that shit documented. And I almost feel like there is no point in getting belly shots done if they aren't bare belly.

And she makes a lot of her moms look fat.
She doesn't keep up with her blog, which annoys me.

Maybe I am just being bitchy today.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

32 Week Doc Appt

But first, the 32 week picture!

My belly is getting massive but the Kikmonster is measuring right on target - at least my uterus is measuring right on target at 32 cm. Considering she was 30 cm at our 28 week appt, her growth has slowed or she had a growth spurt around 28 weeks.

She is kicking and healthy. Her heartrate is a steady 140 bpm and my blood pressure and weight gain are right on target. Although, I think I am going to surpass my 30 pound max weight gain goal. Boo. I am so frustrated with the weight gain thing. I have been "working out" most days of the week and only giving into ice cream once a day. Trust me, that's saying something, since all I can think about when I wake up is ice cream or chocolate or cake. They all sound so delicious. I have been eating at least 5 servings of fruit and veggies everyday. But I guess my body needs to gain the weight. I am not happy about it though. I have to be MOH in a wedding a mere four months after the Kikmonster is born.

Oh well.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

8 Months Pregnant

Thank goodness! I am so super excited that we are in the home stretch.

8 more weeks.
8 Months along.
32 weeks baked.

We're getting so close.

Surprisingly, I am calm. We don't have everything we need but with the shower coming up at the end of this month, I am not putting too much stress on it. If she were to come super early, I might freak out. But really, we have clothes. We have diapers. We have a crib. We have lots of blankets. We have a room. We have a car seat. All is well. Everything else will work itself out.

I am starting to get more and more tired as the days go one. Lugging this belly around is exhausting. My back is starting to hurt a little bit more everyday. But knowing that we only have 9.5 weeks max (since my doc won't let me go 10 days past my due date) until I am done is really helping getting through the day to day.

Here's a family picture that we can't wait to update!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Maternity Pictures

I was just checking out this blog.

It made me cry.

The pictures are gorgeous. But that isn't what did it. I am not going to get maternity pictures because I can't find anyone worth paying for. I am frustrated and sad. My mom bought us a newborn session but this chick hasn't done very many newborns so I am a little nervous. But it is free and I can always hire someone else later.

In other news....we went to a concert at a local bar on Saturday and I was totally hit on. In all my pregnant glory. It was hilarious.

February 1

Today marks the day that we can officially say that we are due next month! Eeek! I am getting excited! I mean, I am still scared of labor but I will be happy to not be pregnant anymore. I will enjoy a glass of wine (or 5) with dinner and feel pretty guiltless about it as long as I have some milk stashed away for the Kikmonster. But labor itself is horrifying. I have been looking up alternative relaxation techniques and trying to figure out what will help with getting a med free (with the potential for a shot of Fentenyl) birth. But we'll see.

Yesterday we went out to the beach with my mom, her boyfriend and the three dogs. It was a pretty fun day. We had to hike down this long ass hill to get down to the beach which meant that we had to walk up that same long ass hill to get back to the car. It was good for me but I am so glad that I have kept up with walking on the treadmill up hill. I can't even imagine doing that if I hadn't kept up with working out.

I was leading the way and my mom's boyfriend is quite active, an avid rock climber, hiker, dirt bike rider etc. So I was a little intimidated walking up the hill. I was afraid I wasn't going fast enough. But at the end he mentioned that it wasn't a problem and he was quite impressed with my pace. So that made me feel pretty good.

We drove past the place where mom rides her horse on the beach and we past her friend's truck and trailer while we were headed to get the live crabs from the boat for dinner. So we stopped by on our way back while they were resting their horses and watering them. She kept complimenting me on how great I looked. She said that she couldn't believe that I was 8 months along. It made me feel good to get compliments like that from someone who I know wouldn't say anything if she thought I looked like shit.

Here is an engagement picture that I love!

We're so serious. This cracks me up.