Saturday, January 30, 2010

Sleep ... deprived

Sleeping is so hard. I never thought it could be difficult to sleep. But it is.

Finding a comfortable position is hard.

My back always hurts when I wake up, regardless of my super cool new pillow that my hubs bought me.

I have to pee like 5 times a night. Getting out of bed is difficult. I guess it would be more accurate to say, I roll out of bed. My core muscles are practically gone.

I am tired. I really want to sleep, I just can't.

At least we're going shopping today for my birthday present!! Hopefully the rain holds out so we don't have to walk around the outdoor outlets in the rain!

And because it has been a while, a picture.

This is what feeding time looks like inside our house. Cracks me up.
Charley Butt, Rizzo Butt, and Trixee Butt.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Weeks 30 and 31 in Pictures

30 weeks in purple shirt and 31 weeks in the brown shirt.

Explain that? I look way more pregnant in the purple shirt than the brown shirt. So that's pretty crazy. And weird.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

31 Weeks!

So we made it past the 30 week mark! Another milestone passed! Woohoo!! We're officially in the home stretch! Single digit in weeks.

I can taste the wine already.

Last night we took our first class. We are taking four - Late Pregnancy, Breastfeeding, Newborn Care, and Childbirth Prep.

Last night was Late Pregnancy. We had a tour of the hospital. Which was great and calmed a lot of my fears. We will get private laboring rooms. We will stay in the same room the entire time we are laboring. There are private showers, which we are free to use throughout our entire stay as often as we want. They encourage natural birth. They told us about all the other options for pain and the more I learn about the epi the more horrified I am. Fentenyl is looking more and more like a viable option for me. Although it will ultimately depend on the length of labor.

Anything that the baby needs done after delivery will be done in the room. There is a place for the baby that has a warmer, oxygen, and all other stabilizers a baby might need upon birth. If baby needs nothing, she goes directly to mom's chest and stays there until the umbilical cord stops pulsing and it is cut. Then baby gets bathed, measured, and weighed all in the same room that mom and dad are in. The only time the baby is removed from the room is if mom and dad request that baby goes to the nursery so they can try to get some sleep. Otherwise, baby is in mom and dad's care for the duration of the hospital stay.

About two hours after labor, mom, dad, and baby, are moved to a postpartum room. A shared room. The ONLY thing I am worried about, well besides shitting on the table and tearing to my asshole and pushing a head through my vagina, is Timm having to leave. If the person you are sharing a room with doesn't feel comfortable with another man in the room, both husband's have to leave for the night. While I will understand the woman's point of view, I will be so nervous having to spend the entire night by myself in a hospital, alone with my baby. And sore too. Hopefully, that won't happen. Hopefully, I will get lucky. Although, Timm probably wouldn't mind going home and sleeping in his own bed and getting his last full night's sleep and taking a shower before coming to pick up his wife and new baby to bring them home. But I won't be bitter.

All in all the class was informative and Timm learned a lot even though he kept saying, "You are the one who has to remember all this stuff." Um, no honey. You have to help me.

When we left the class, he said, "we were probably the youngest ones there and you were definitely the best looking. There were some really ugly pregnant bodies in there."

Ahhh, that's my husband!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Motherhood Maternity

Yesterday I went to Motherhood Maternity to continue my search for a dress to wear to my shower. I still don't understand why nobody makes a dress that hugs the belly. I just look fat and weird when they hang off the belly. And I will not have all those shower pictures looking like that.

First, Motherhood Maternity is effing expensive. They had tshirts there for $25! Seriously. That's a bit, ok a lot, ridiculous. I ended up with a demin skirt that we paid almost $40 with tax. It is a DEMIN SKIRT and I still have to get it hemmed because I am so short.

Second, since they are so expensive they should be able to afford good lighting in the dressing rooms. I went in there and what do I see? Fluorescent lights lining the mirror. Oh. My. Gawd. WTF are they thinking? As if fluorescent lighting isn't bad enough when it is above your head, but shining right at you is like 100 times worse. I was moretified of what I saw. The stretchmarks on my hips, that I got from growing taller when I was 13ish years old, looked brand new. Bright purple and deep. And the new ones, from this pregnancy, looked so much worse.

I almost cried right there in the dressing room.

I looked horrendous.

I have never thought so low of myself in my entire life. Even when I was 30 pounds heavier.

Thanks Motherhood Maternity. For making me feel like shit and having to pay $40 for a fucking demin skirt.

You rock.

Friday, January 22, 2010

30 Week Picture

Here I am in all my 30 week glory. With the slightly swollen river.

The river got a bit higher than this but has since subsided and seems to be holding steady at this height.

I can't believe how massive my belly looks. I had to make a comparison picture.

This is 20 weeks, 25 weeks, 28 weeks, and 30 weeks.

Looking at the pictures, the change from 20 to 30 weeks is huge. But from weeks 28 to 30 is also pretty big difference. I don't feel this big.

In fact, just the other day I was thinking, "you know, I could totally hide that I was pregnant if I wanted to. I mean, I could just throw on some jeans and a baggy sweatshirt and viola! not pregnant Ashley returns." But seeing this 30 week picture makes me think otherwise. I am not kidding when I call my belly the beast. It really is a beast. And it is growing like a beast. Thank goodness my weight gain hasn't been out of control. That would be too much to handle for me right now.

I got my baby shower invitation in the mail yesterday and it is pretty cute! But makes having a baby so real, although now there is no denying it with the beast's massiveness. I am excited about the shower. I can't wait to see everyone.

I was reading about some labor stories today and it totally freaked me out about what is going to happen in the next 11.5 weeks max...I recently learned that my OB won't let me go 10 days beyond my due date, which is what I was expecting and hoping for. I will be headed to L&D.

Yep. L&D will be taking me in. And will begin the extra nurses checking on me and the crazy postpartum bleeding, and all the painful contractions that are bound to happen.

Originally I thought I would go for as long as I could without pain meds but I don't want there to be any reason I can't get an epi. I don't want anyone to tell me that I have waited too long to get it and therefore can not have it. Mostly because I don't want to be stitched up on my patootie without some kind of pain management. Yowza. That shit would hurt.

And I vow that when I post my birth story, which I am sure will be full of way more information that anyone in the world needed to know, I will not be stopping at the birth of the baby. Oh no. Everyone leaves out what happens after baby comes out.

Yes, I know. Mom and dad cry, baby cries, baby gets cleaned, held, and loved, and talked to. I am talking about the other stuff. The delivery of the placenta. Yes, you have to push that shit out. It doesn't just fall out. "Oh look, there's the placenta, would you like to take this home and prepare it? Perhaps you would like to plant it?"

And the blood, my goodness. That comes gushing out like a waterfall. Birthing rooms look like crime scenes afterward, I am sure. And I vow to tell you all about it.

All of it.
All the nitty, gritty details that everyone leaves out.
And you know what you can be extra excited about? Redheads bleed more postpartum. So you can be extra excited about this labor story.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

30 Weeks!

Woohoo! I made it to 30 weeks! Pics to come.
But now on to more important things...The Rising River.
So fun!
Here are some pics!

This is the stairs to the boat ramp. There are 25 steps and we are down to 18. Lost 6 steps in 24 hours.

This is the handycap parking spot next to the boat ramp. This spot is about 10 feet tall.

Monte Rio Bridge - There is usually a beach here.

This is the lower parking lot, that is no more.

This is nothing to worry about, the river in these pictures is only at 22 feet and the river's flood stage is 32 feet. So we have a ways to go. It isn't raining right now. We have had 5 days of rain so far but we have had lots of breaks lasting about 5 or 6 hours. So that should keep the river at bay for a while. We have forcasts of rain lasting until next Sunday with two days of only 30% chances of rain. But you know the weather forcasters, often they are wrong.

This is from the other side of the above Monte Rio Bridge picture, during summertime. When I took that flooded picture I was standing above that white sign across the river, up on the driveway.
Notice the adorable jumping pups too!

This is how much of the bridge shows in the summer.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Sex while pregnant sucks.

I don't know why I can't be one of those uber horny women while pregnant. I feel bad for the hubman. But the ladybits are so swollen that any kind of stimulation on the nether regions is pretty much painful. I mean, he gets it sometimes (at least we have had sex this year, right?!), but for the most part I am not interested. I cried after our failed attempt yesterday. How lame and sad is that? I gave it my best effort. I just couldn't do it.

And then I cried.

I cried because I don't want to have sex.
I cried because I feel bad that he isn't having sex. (which, I would like to say, is totally irrational. He has never, once, made me feel like he will die if he doesn't have sex. I am just being a crazy pregnant lady)
I cried because I know that if I don't want to have sex soon that means it could be 16 weeks (saying I have this little one on my due date and everything heals nicely) before we have sex again.

He felt bad. He did give it his best effort but I just couldn't get past the pain.

I guess we will be bringing this up at the doctor. I wonder what she will say? I will probably kick myself, she'll put me on pelvic rest or something. Ugh.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Sheep

This is Goldie and her faithful sheep.

The mean sheep is more like it. But for whatever reason these two get along like the best of friends.

They are often together and I think it is a little bit sad that they have to be separated while I am pregnant. That mean sheep will knock me over, in the mud and sheep and horse shit and won't even think twice about it. And to think I feed that bastard.

This is also the daddy to the little lamb that we had to say goodbye to the other day.

It is a tough life on the hill.
Goldie knows all about it. And I think she is a bit traumatized by it all.

She protects these sheep. She herds them into the barn when the boys are shooting at the range behind the property. She shares her food with them. She goes up into the mountainside to check on them when they have been gone for a while. It is really rather cute.

Most of the time I love going up the hill. I feed the Golden Wonder Horse and brush her. She loves sitting and rolling in the mud. She's always filthy in the winter. And in the summer when she starts shedding, she needs help getting all that winter coat off. I give the sheeps a bit of horse feed and they hang around while I brush the Golden One.

It was a complete surprise that the black headed sheep (not in the above pics) was pregnant. Nobody expected her to have a baby this year. She loved her baby. On Thursday morning I went up to feed and the black headed sheep was freaking out. Ba-a-a-a-ing at me and making some other sounds that I didn't recognize. I went to check with the homeowner and she said there had been a baby and it wasn't doing well. So she brought the baby inside to warm him up and to make him pee.

Baby never peed. He died in her arms later that day. Instead of taking him to the vet (which she should have done) she said, "if only I had a surgical tube, I could have saved that lamb." The harsh reality is that he would have died later. She raises boy sheep for food, except for the jackass one she has now for breeding. He would have died on his one year birthday.

Friday morning I went up to feed the horse. The sheeps and the horse were going crazy. Mom sheep was ba-a-a-a-ing at me again and Goldie was running all over the place. I couldn't figure out what was wrong.
Until I got to the barn door.
No more than 5 yards away was the baby sheep. Laying dead in the grass. Vultures and crows were completely surrounding it. And mom sheep was limping.

It was one of the saddest sights I have ever seen. Mom sheep was trying to protect her dead baby from being eaten. She had hurt herself in the process.

I fed the sheep a extra that day.

Why didn't the homeowner take the lamb higher up the mountainside where mom sheep, and I, couldn't see the whole mess happen. She wanted the sheep to go with the circle of life. Well she has acres of space. She had to put it right in my line of vision? Seriously? And what about the poor mom sheep. She must have been mortified and sad all day.

My mom went up there yesterday and buried what was left.

It was a sad day.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Sharks Hockey

My aunt and I went to the game last night, first game I have seen all season and they lost in the shootout. But that is besides the point. And it was pretty fun anyway. But the Kikmonster was super active throughout the entire game! It was hilarious. I am assuming she likes hockey, mostly because she doesn't have much of a choice.

But now it has me wondering...

lots of fetal movement = happy baby


Lots of fetal movement = unhappy baby

She seriously moved throughout the entire game. So cute.

Because I didn't take any pictures at the game, silly me I forgot my camera.
Here are the pups...again

Thursday, January 14, 2010

29 Weeks...Coming into the Final Stretch!

29 Weeks - January 13, 2010

I had such a great birthday this year! Granted I went in with low expectations since I can't go out and party with the ladies. But my bestie took me for a facial and pedi at a fancy spa in Santa Rosa, then the fam and I went out to dinner and I got an amazing chocolate dessert. Delish! Mom got me some diamond hoop earrings, which are super cute! And this weekend Timm and I are going shopping for a Coach wristlet and/or diaper bag at the outlets.

We had our follow up ultrasound yesterday and all is well with Kiki. She is measuring two days ahead and weighs 3 pounds. GAH! But it doesn't look like her heart has a bright spot anymore. And the ultrasound tech said everything looks healthy and normal. Although, she isn't a radiologist, so we are waiting on the final word from the doc. But her fluid levels are good and she's active and strong.

Tonight Dar and I are going to a hockey game. My first of the year since I live three hours away now! But I am super excited. It has been so long!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Doc Appt

We had our 28 week appt yesterday. I swear everytime we go to the doctor we get a crazy nurse/med assistant/whatever they are. This time the lady asked us if we had a 20 week ultrasound and if I had taken my gluscose test when she had my chart pulled up. Um, for real? That shit is all written right there.

Anyway, so we meet with our doc or "RNP" (as my mom calls her, complete with quotes) and she keeps saying everything about our pregnancy is textbook. The heartrate has remained steady, the test results are all great, the heartbeat is found without any issue everytime. I am measuring 30 inches, from between the boobs to the underwear line. Which is on the large side of average which is to be expected since Timm is 6'4''. Again we hear, "everything is textbook." And then we heard it again about 30 more times. It actually became quite funny.

We're driving home and we're kind of making fun of her and her references to our "textbook" pregnancy. And my cell phone rings.

It is the doctor.
She tells me there is a bright spot on the baby's heart and we have to call the genetic counselor first thing in the morning. But not to worry, the doc isn't worried and it shouldn't mean anything.
Call the genetic counselor first thing in the morning, but don't worry. It kind of sounds urgent.

So I call the counselor first thing in the morning, she calls me back around noon. She's a little confused as to why I am calling her. Bright spots on the heart are common and occur in 1-2% of pregnancies and usually result in no birth defects. Having a bright spot on the heart is not an indication of a birth defect in our case since all other tests have come back with "textbook" accuracy and further examination of the ultrasound didn't show any fetal abnormalities. So all is well. The genetic counselor also mentioned that there was no reason to contact us about the ultrasound finding and unless we hear from the ultrasound tech, not to worry. We will always be notified of any abnormalities or unusual findings.

Huge sigh of relief, right? Totally!

The even better news is that the doc ordered another ultrasound for "peace of mind." I feel bad taking it but at the same time I also feel a bit like I deserve it, having to stress out about the well being of my child for 14 hours. So more ultrasound pictures will be had next week.

Happy Birthday to me!

In honor of the next ultrasound, here is the 18 week profile view of the Kikmonster.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

28 weeks

28 weeks.

I am still feeling pretty good. I get tired during the day and take a nap but I like it.

My birthday is 5 days away. I am such a little kid. I love, love, love my birthday! But this year is going to be a but different...being 29 weeks pregnant and all. I think my friend is going to come out here with her dog and we are going to take them to the beach to play. Then the whole fam is going out to dinner that night. So it should be fun!

Speaking of birthdays, Kiki is due on Charley and Rizzo's birthday. I really hope I don't miss their birthday. How ridiculous is that, right? I don't want to miss my dog's birthday even for giving birth to my own little red headed heathen. But it is true. I don't. I want to be able to celebrate like the two years past. But I am really not hoping for an April 1st baby either. Hmmm, March 20th is my guess. That is what I have been saying for a couple weeks now. I don't know why. That is my ex-stepsister's birthday. And March 20th would make her early. So who knows?

Would you want to miss this face's birthday?

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Dresses. Dresses. Dresses.

So I have to go to Timm's holiday party which happens every year in February and is a big giant waist of time, in my opinion. There is always hundreds of people there and he only knows the ones he works with directly. We have to drive an hour and a half to get there. I mean, totally not how I want to spend a Saturday night.
But alas, I do.
Every year.
Because he wants me to.
So this year I have the added dilemma of finding something to wear with room for a belly. Of course the cutest dress I found a a stinking jersey dress for $100. All dresses maternity are so frumpy looking. I am not an old hag. I am a cute chick who just wants to wear some cute clothes while I am pregnant. Ugh.
Anyway, after hours of scouring the internet this is what I have found.

This I found on ebay. It is from Old Navy. It would be $20 including shipping.

This is from Gap and would be about $50 with shipping. I love the long sleeves and the ruffles though.

This I found at Target but it looks so frumpy under the boobs. I don't want it to look like it doesn't fit and if this doesn't fit the model, it won't fit me. I try not to get my clothes altered.

But here is the dress that I want, I just don't want to pay for it...LINK!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Working Out...again

I am sick of walking and the farther along I get in my pregnancy the more I want to throat punch Denise Austin for talking to me like I am a baby and not having a baby.
So I went to You Tube for pregnancy workouts. OMG, why did I not think of this before? Seriously. One quick "pregnancy workout" search and there are enough videos here for me to do a new one everyday until I give birth.
I will probably stick with this lady though. She isn't funny or entertaining at all. Which is something I usually look for in a workout video, love me some Tony Horton (?). His cheesy jokes while I am working out always crack me up and remind me to smile while I am working out. She is straight and to the point. But I do like that if you have any questions and ask them in her comments section, she will answer you. Although I am not sure about taking medical advice from someone you have never even seen is a good plan.
Anyway, today I did Dr. Cathy's warm up and her biceps and legs workout. Tomorrow I will do something else. You have to repeat them which is kind of annoying but all is well. I also like that I can do them on my computer and have some tunes playing in the background. Gotta love that.

I can't believe I hadn't thought of this before. Just write dork on my forehead.

My birthday is one week from today! Woohoo!!!

And a picture...gotta leave with a pic!

Today for your viewing pleasure - redneck cove.

This is how we waterslide on the river.

Ahhhh, summer.

Saturday, January 2, 2010


Happy New Year!
2010 is a big year for us.

I am turning 25.
We're having a baby.
Silicia and James are getting married.

There is lots of exciting stuff happening. You know along with weddings comes all those fun parties! Can't wait!

Lots of unexciting stuff is happening as well. This is the year I will embark on trying to lose baby weight in 4 months. I am hoping that if I tone up these arms and legs now, then I can work on abs once Baby C makes her arrival.

Our NYE was different than usual. Even though we don't always go out, we always drink. This year was different. Apple Cider was my drink of choice this year. But it was fun. We went to our friend's house in the city. We played rock band and chatted. And I ate too much bread and cheese. Will I ever learn? Probably not so much. But it was good to see them. I haven't seen my city friends in a long time. We drove home that night and I had cleaned the house and changed the bedding. So it was nice to start the year off with clean sheets and a clean house.

Yesterday, we didn't really do anything. We watched some TV, napped, I snuck in a workout, we went to Safeway. Today we don't really have any plans either. It is kind of nice. Although I am going to try to talk Timm into going shopping today to pick out my birthday present!

And because a post has to have pictures....

An activity that I miss and can't wait to start again in 2010! WINE TASTING!